Being Narcissistic

More issues than Vogue

5 Kinds Of People You See At Gigs:

4. August 2014

The Proud/Pushy Parent:

Often seen hovering around any form of authority figure (sound engineers/bar staff/cleaners…) trying to entice them into a conversation about how good their little star is. Can usually be spotted wearing a two-sizes-too-small t-shirt for their offspring’s band, dancing out of time and occasionally head-banging (because the kids still do that right?) 


The Barfly:

This specimen spends the majority of the night propping the bar up, guzzling it dry of cheap lager and nodding along warily to the support bands. However as soon as the headline bands emerge, this dude’s the one to slop beer all down your favourite band t-shirt as he pushes his way to the front. Completely oblivious to the irksome looks he’ll acquire on his journey, the barfly’s weapon in a plastic cup ensure that he creates space for himself in the spillage-circumference around him.


The I’m Just Excited To Be With Society:

Usually locked in her pastel coloured bedroom watching countless episodes of Vampire Diaries, this girl’s had a friend-of-a-friend invite to mingle with actual humans tonight. Giddy like a child dizzy after too much lemonade, this girlies got her groove on regardless of the musical proficiency on stage. Can often be spotted doing the arm-swaying thing to any song with a tempo below 120bpm or making the rock-on hand symbol if an electric guitar appears.


The Overdressed Gig Virgin:

Perhaps the easiest to spot purely due to the questionable ensemble this poor soul’s decided to wear. Things to look out for include; shirt collars, kitten heels, clutch bags and dress shoes. This naïve newbie has learned another lesson the hard way by forking out eight quid for a warm thimble-sized vodka and coke. Heading headlong for disappointment, his gig-goer plants themselves on the peripheries wishing they’d just gone to TigerTiger to strut their stuff instead.


The I’m With The Band:

Whether it’s an overly attached girlfriend or the geezer who helped to carry a single jack lead into sound check, these gig-goers will try and get where water wouldn’t. The terms ‘back-stage’ and ‘green room’ call them forth although the reality is usually just a rather small, sweaty corridor or a bar stool in a storage cupboard. These guys want a backstage pass as much as King Joffrey wants the Iron Throne.



my favourite part of shakespeare plays is the person at the end that is like “see how these people fucked everything up. don’t do this. look at this fuckery. look at it. fuck this. fuck everything.”

(Source: asexualjonsnow, via svenandcoco)

Most disgusting screenshot ever but here’s my acoustic cover of ‘Do What U Want’ by Lady Gaga; enjoy!


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